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Updated Sept, 2024 by Rob Ballentine

The story of Jackson and my first 'professional' piece.

I CAN'T DRAW

From Lockdown to Full-Time Artist: My Journey with Pastel Pencils

It all started with Jackson, a Springer Spaniel. A good friend of mine had just lost him during lockdown. The grief was palpable, and I felt compelled to do something. Not that I had much idea of what that "something" would be. After all, I hadn’t picked up a pencil in over 30 years, not since school.

With nothing but Netflix and crisps to pass the time, I grabbed a pencil and an eraser—the only tools I had—and decided to draw Jackson. 

I knew almost nothing about materials, shading, contrast, or how to make fur look like, well, fur.

The only thing I was sure of was to follow the direction of the fur, which, it turns out, was only the tip of the iceberg.

Jackson's portrait took about 30 hours, and every minute was a struggle. I didn’t know how to work with white fur on a white background. 

Every pencil stroke felt like a shot in the dark. I tried watching videos to figure out what I was doing wrong, but they just made me feel even more lost. 

Despite the chaos in my head, I sent the finished piece to my friend as a gift. He was hysterical with grief, and I hoped it might help, even in the smallest way.

This Unexpected

Then something unexpected happened. He posted the portrait on social media, and the response was...wild. 

Fans of his dog wanted one for themselves. The pressure was on, and my wife, ever the practical one, gave me a simple choice: either get fat from watching Netflix and eating crisps, or start drawing and make a few pennies. 

And with that, I became a full-time commissioned artist in just one month. There was only one problem—I had no clue what I was doing.

It's a minefield

It was a minefield. I hadn’t drawn in three decades, and here I was, trying to create art that people would actually pay for. Each commission felt like I was starting from scratch. 

The hardest part of Jackson's portrait—his white fur on a white background—was something I winged, and I wouldn't want to start there again without solid advice. Drawing fur without it looking like a gazillion pencil strokes was a mystery. Everything was overwhelming. 

I quickly realized how much I didn’t know, and it felt impossible to believe I could ever get good enough to compete with the artists I admired. They were exceptional, and I thought art was something you either had, or you didn’t.

But then, I stumbled upon a powerful secret that changed everything for me. 

It wasn’t about natural talent or being born with a gift. It was about something else entirely, and it’s what helped me turn a series of lucky strokes into a career. 

More on that another time, but for now, Jackson’s portrait marked the start of a journey I never expected. 

A journey that’s still evolving, with every new portrait teaching me something new about art—and myself.

I'll show you how I started it was all because of someone STUPIDLY famous!!! 

You may even have heard of them.

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